BY RAYEES AHMAD KUMAR
After the birth of a girl child every parent wishes to educate her, raise her and to fulfil her legal demands according to their financial strengths. It is beyond any doubt that even in today’s computer and technological age a big chunk of people doesn’t desire at all to be the parents of the girl child. To avoid a girl child they either abandone her near a religious place immediately after her birth so that the one in need would adopt her or they take the help of latest medical technology to determine the sex of the fetous in the very womb of expecting mother and then abort her. Many legislations at state and union levels have been formulated from time to time to avoid this satanic practice but still the bad breath of this horrific evil is smelt in every nook and corner of the state.
However there is no denying that the girl child is welcomed as pleasantly as a male child by the maximum section of the society. They feel equally overjoyed and pleased when a female baby opens her eyes in the home. They bring her up, educate her, raise her and after all when she reaches the marriageable age her parents look for her nuptial. It is at this moment that her parents feel displeased and bothered because choosing a better half for her seems a tough task for many reasons. First they seek from their acquaintances and other relationships a good spouse for her and when their efforts fail then they take the help of a mediator. In seeking a compatible match for the daughters, their weddings get unnecessarily delayed for varied reasons. There are a number of factors responsible for this delay. These aren’t divine but created by the very members of the society. Let’s see why it has become difficult to marry our daughters.
Daughters who are educated better and well raised by their parents find it extremely difficult to get a compatible match because they are reluctant to marry a guy devoid of the government job. Almost all the parents whose daughters are PG, B.Ed etc prefer to choose a government employee for their daughters instead of a jobless or a person in private sector. With each passing day due to newer criteria and restricting the chances of employment it has become difficult to get the government job for our youth. So instead of remaining clinging to strive for it, they are exploiting other options and means to get their livelihood. In such circumstances it can’t be expected that every such girl who is well educated and from a decent background can get a compatible match especially the one having government job. This mind-set needs to be changed among the parents whose daughters are eagerly waiting for their nuptial and have reached the marriageable age.
Another factor responsible for this delay is the weak economic condition of some parents who wish to decorate the hands of their daughters with hina but due to birth and rebirth of new customs and traditions their dreams get shattered. In this land of saints too we witness satanic practices being done on daily basis. A good number of our Eves daughters have either committed suicide or they have been murdered only due to their inability to quench the dowry thirst of their in-laws. Recently the incident of Achabal Anantnag is doing rounds on social media. It has moistened the eyes of each rational being. We have lost one more innocent life for unknown reasons. Questions are being raised. Should dowry be made the base for marrying our daughters or our male counterparts need to change their materialistic thinking before intending to tie the nuptial. Parents having weak income sources often delay the wedding of their daughters due to introduction of newly invented customs which is breaking their back. In view of such circumstances they regard girl child a burden instead of a blessing from almighty.
One more reason for the delay of daughter’s wedding is the unkind treatment at in-laws home of married women. The rude behaviour and inhuman treatment of daughter in-law at the hands of her husband and other relatives is also discouraging the parents to marry their daughters early and whenever they proceed to seek the spouse for their daughters, they feel pleased only after a proper verification and satisfaction about the to be their son in-law. It takes months and sometimes years in searching a compatible match for the daughters. The one raised in a decent or economically well off family can’t be married in an average or ordinary family. Seeking a match in the same caste background is the biggest factor responsible for the delay in daughter’s marriage of some conservative type families.
So to avoid this delay in daughter’s wedding some concrete steps needs to be initiated, moreover people must change their mindset while searching a spouse for their beloved children. Delaying the daughter’s wedding for the sake of a government servant is proving more disastrous than pleasing them in the end. Because it isn’t only one’s economic stability that determines a healthy post married life rather a good understanding between the partners. Thousands of families of better financial positions have been shattered due to lack of good understanding while a considerable number of families of economically poor background but better understanding are living a pleasing post married life. So instead of wasting the precious years of our children in searching a government servant we must give due weightage to a virtuous and morally upright match. Concept of dowry must be discouraged both by the male counterparts as well as by the civil society at large in order to save our community from getting destroyed. Birth and rebirth of new customs and unnecessary traditions need to be checked immediately in order to give some relief to our downtrodden people who wish to tie the nuptial of their dear ones but can’t afford such inhuman practices. Catechism is still prevalent in our society and in this technological age it is like an evil because seeking a match in same caste is eating our time and energy resulting in late marriages of our children. Fertility issues are seeing a rising trend with each passing day and delaying further the wedding of our children especially daughters is further aggravating the problem.
Writer is a columnist, academician, fiction writer, book reviewer and author of seven books.